Let It Be Done

This post will aim to unwrap the meaning behind my blog name: Finding My Fiat

Photo from @theoodlesofdoodles on Instagram

The word Fiat kept popping up in my life.
First, I met someone who had the word tattooed on the inside of her forearm. Then, I kept hearing it in church teaching. I was really drawn to this word and the meaning in which it encompasses. In my brain, Fiat is not the word to describe a type of car, it's the pivotal moment in the Gospel of Luke when Mary receives the angel and says yes to God's Will in her life. A will that is far beyond our comprehension and for some, far beyond the realms of belief. In his writing, Redemptoris Mater, St. John Paul II coins:
"And Mary gives this consent, after she has heard everything the
messenger has to say. She says: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according
to your word" (Lk. 1:38). This fiat of Mary-"let it be to me"-was decisive, on the human level, for the
accomplishment of the divine mystery. There is a complete harmony with the words of the Son,
who, according to the Letter to the Hebrews, says to the Father as he comes into the world:
"Sacrifices and offering you have not desired, but a body you have prepared for me... Lo, I have
come to do your will, O God" (Heb. 10:5-7). The mystery of the Incarnation was accomplished
when Mary uttered her fiat: "Let it be to me according to your word," which made possible, as far
as it depended upon her in the divine plan, the granting of her Son's desire."

Source unknown

​Granted, I am not destined to be the Mother of God. But, I do believe that I am intended to real life here on earth and there is a Will of God for my life that gives me comfort. Belief in God gives me joy because it's a scapegoat. At the end of the day, it's not up to me! How fabulous!
At the end of the day, I walk through the motions of life, I make decisions, I say words, I do my job, I have a workload. God is not a puppet master, and he does not interfere with my free will to live my life. However, if you start to really hone in on who you're meant to be, you'll find that He whispers to you. My Creator whispers to me through my gut feelings. Let me give you an example:
I was approached in the spring of 2018 by a near stranger (a wonderful woman, who I knew through literally 5 interactions and through mutual friends) and she was interested in opening a coffee shop and thought that I would be a good fit to have on board. We didn't know each other, I had no money to my name, I had just gone through a string of term jobs as I left university for the real world. I was already engaged to my very supportive fiance, but I didn't have a job that I loved or was thriving in. Photography was relatively slow, and my current term as a receptionist was doing nothing for my spirit. So when our personalities clicked, I was immediately inspired to consider my options.
I considered her offer, and I read the financial reports, and then I talked to some experts. I really prayed hard at whether or not dumping every penny that I had saved up into a coffee shop was a wise decision.
I (obviously) didn't end up pursuing this. My breaking point was the following:
The three most supportive people in my life are my fiance and my parents. They believe that I can reach the sky (I mean, duh, I'm a millenial) and they give me boosts that raise my self-esteem in ways that I am forever grateful for. That being said, my dad is very no-nonsense. Being a photographer isn't a career in his eyes. He's very proud of my work and my skill but hopes to see me use my degree in a setting where there are a pension plan and benefits. I didn't even run this idea past him until I was 100% certain that I was on board. So, I sat down with my mom and fiance. We had the financials in front of us and all of the projections, and as I sat there with my head just swimming, my fiance looked me dead in the eye and said, 
"Do you want to do this?"
"No," I replied. 
My gut feeling had been there the whole time. Every time someone brought up the idea of me putting all of my (mostly) hard-earned money into something that may or may not be successful, I felt it. That twinge and twist of your stomach that can't be ignored. Do you get that too?

​So what's the meaning of this? Is my God just here to trample on my dreams? No, I don't think so. But here's what happened; a few months later, I landed my "dream job" of sorts - I work in Marketing & Communications for a Catholic High School, and it's the MOST fun. 
My fiance and I ended up being able to buy a house this past winter which I would not have been able to do if I had piled all of my savings into opening a coffee shop. Life's funny. God's funny. I'm thrilled with where I am, and I'm delighted that I trusted that gut feeling. Everything has worked out, and I owe it to my trust in God. 

​Gut feelings don't always have to be an act of God. Maybe you don't believe that they are. Perhaps you think in the universe. Regardless, I encourage you to get in tune with that sh*t. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Finding my Fiat has been about that journey. About finding God's will in my life and having the courage to live it out. That's what this blog will be for, and that's what this blog will serve. I encourage you to follow along on the journey with me!

Yours,
Janelle